Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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