I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think your dad took our porno
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
