so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
