just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
