If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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