we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
