Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
