Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I need help removing her.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize