Christians are straight up FREAKS
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize