"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize