My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
