Me too!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
