I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
