Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dignity is for republicans.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Randomize
