He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
