six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
