What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
