I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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