I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
