I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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