Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
