Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
