I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
