My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
