just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
