Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
