"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
