Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Are we still banned from the library?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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