yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
