They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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