Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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