You can't motorboat a personality
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
