I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
