i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
