I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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