I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize