My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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