Too much gin, very little bucket
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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