I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize