I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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