I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So much rum. So many feels.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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