Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
