a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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