just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
