Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My pussy is not your playground.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize