I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
