PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
