my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
