omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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