Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
