i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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