Duck Duck Cougar?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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