What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
