I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
