I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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