Cold hands, warm shart.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
