Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
