So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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