I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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