theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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