I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
