Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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