Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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