I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
