is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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