What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
