True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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