ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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